User talk:Jaisy Bohn
Welcome Hi, welcome to Invader ZIM Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Zim page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Dr. Anonymous1 (Talk) 20:08, July 28, 2012 Fanfiction Hey, sorry to bother you, but I need to talk with you about the fanfic you just posted. It's a good fanfic, but unfortunately it goes against our policy regarding fanfictions: We do allow users to write their own stories about the IZ universe on this Wiki, but if you're doing so, you must post it on your user page or - better yet - in a blog post (note the "Blog" button on your profile page), as actual articles are reserved for official IZ material. Plus, if you put your fanfics in blog posts, other users can comment on your work. You'll be happy to know that I have saved the content of the fanfiction you wrote, and put it at the bottom of this message. I STRONGLY that you cut it from this page and paste it all into a blog post, and publish it. No point in letting a good fanfic go to waste, right? Sorry that we got off on the wrong foot, but trust me: I'm not a COMPLETE jerk. ;-) Later, User: Dr. Anonymous1 22:21, July 28, 2012 (UTC) HERE IS THE CONTENT: GIR is on the couch with his cupcake in his hands while in his doggy disguise. GIR''Singing: I love my cupcake, cupcake, cupcake. I love my cupcake. ''GIR drops the cupcake on the couch and picks it up, leaving a big chocolate frosting stain.'' He takes a bite of it.'' Ew! Couch flavor! GIR then shoves the entire cupcake in his mouth. ZIM enters the livingroom with a mind controlling remote. ZIM: GIR, the mind controlling remote is broken again and-''ZIM gasps.'' GIR, this better be frosting! Clean it up. GIR: Yes, sir! GIR licks the frosting. ZIM: With a napkin, GIR! GIR: But it's chocolate, and I love chocolate. ZIM: ZIM sighs. I can't win with you GIR, I can never win with you. Computer: Intruder alert, intruder alert! ZIM: Ha! ZIM opens his door in his disguise. Dib is there and is burnt to a crisp because the house automatically shot lasers at him. ''Ha! How do you like my new security system Dib? I programmed it to shoot lasers at anyone who steps on my doorstep. Dib: Yeah, it's great, ZIM. Look, I've been thinking, and maybe we should put all of this enemy nonsense behind us and become friends. ''ZIM laughs hysterically. ZIM: You're kidding, right? We wouldn't be friends if you were the last big-headed kid on Earth! Dib: My head is not big! Anyway, I'm serious. Please, can we just give it a chance? ZIM: I don't know, it seems so sudden. Dib: I know, but let's try it. If you think I'm still a threat to your mission, then you can destroy me. I won't do anything to stop you. ZIM: This is going to be exciting. Dib: But you have to have a real reason! You can't just blow me up because you felt like it! ZIM: There goes that thought. Okay, fine, we can try it. Meet me behind the SKOOL tomorrow. We will begin our friendship then. Dib: Okay. ZIM closes the door. Dib's screaming is heard from outside of ZIM's house because the laser shot him again. ZIM: I hope the Earth boy gets a good sleep tonight; it's the last one he'll ever get. I have to think of a way Dib will be a threat to the mission so I can destroy him. This is going to be harder than I thought. Behind the SKOOL the next day. Dib: So ZIM, we're friends now? ZIM: Yes, very good friends. You will no longer disturb me in my mission to destroy Earth or try to prove to everyone that I am an alien. Dib: And you will stop trying to destroy me! ZIM: Very well. Dib: So, wanna come to my house and watch Mysterious Mysteries? ZIM: As tempting as that is, I can't. I have to go home and, eh...Make sure GIR didn't eat all of the sandwiches! Dib: You don't want to, do you? ZIM: Never in a billion years sad little Earth monkey! Dib: Friends don't call friends names, ZIM. ZIM: Really? Oh. Sorry? Dib: When friends apologize to friends, they make it sincere. Which means they actually mean it. ZIM: Oh, this is terrifying! I am done with this Earth friendship! Prepare to be destroyed, Earth stink! ZIM's PAK shoves out a super weapon. Dib: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We had an agreement! You don't destroy me unless you have a REAL reason you think I'm a threat to the mission! ZIM: Gah! Curse you! Dib: You can't curse me, ZIM. ZIM: Yes I can, I just did. See? I'll do it again. Curse you! Dib: No, I mean friends don't curse friends! You don't get this whole friendship thing, do you? ZIM: Not really, no. Irken invader remember? Dib: Whatever. Listen ZIM, your not supposed to call friends names, your not supposed to curse your friends, your supposed to apologize to your friends sincerely. The screen says "5 HOURS LATER." Dib: Your not supposed to destroy your friends, your not supposed to hurt your friends, your not supposed to leave your friends behind, and your not supposed to show your friends any distrust. We pan over to ZIM who is sleeping on a rock. Dib: ZIM! ZIM wakes up. ZIM: Sir! Dib: ZIM, it's me. ZIM: Oh, right. Um? What were we doing again? Dib: I'm going home. ZIM: Okay. ZIM and Dib go home. At ZIM's house. ZIM: GIR! GIR comes. GIR: Yes sir! ZIM: GIR, we have to find a reason why Dib is a threat to the mission. And quickly! This may be my one and only chance to destroy him. GIR: But he seems nice! ZIM: GIR! To the lab! In the lab, ZIM is on his computer looking up good excuses to destroy Dib. ZIM: This looks like a good one. "Destroyed my home planet." Okay GIR, we must tell this to the Dib human tomorrow after SKOOL and we must bring super weapons. And when I say we GIR, I mean me. Not so much you. The next morning at SKOOL in Ms. Bitters' class, ZIM is staring at Dib while Dib is staring at ZIM. Dib''to himself: Look at him, he thinks he can destroy me. He can think again. ZIM isn't the only smart one on this planet. ZIM[Thinking'' to himself]: I wonder what goes on in a head that big. Dib''to himself: He may be thinking something smart right now, but not for long! ZIM isn't as smart as he thinks. ZIMto himself: I mean seriously, look at that thing. It's the size of a hippo that head. ''The bell rings. Ms. Bitters: Go to lunch! At lunch, Dib is sitting at his table when ZIM comes over. Dib: What do you want space boy? ZIM: I just wanted to slip this note into your burrito. But since it's already in your disgusting belly, I thought I would give it to you unfoodened. ZIM hands Dib the note. We see ZIM literally slide off-screen. Dib opens the note. Dib: I don't know what the heck this means. It's in alien. It's in alien! Hey everybody! Look at this note my, friend, ZIM. Dib remembers the deal he made with ZIM. In his flashback. ZIM''flashback: You will no longer disturb me in my mission to destroy Earth or try to prove to everyone that I am an alien. Dibflashback: And you will stop trying to destroy me! ZIMflashback: Very well. ''Out of Dib's flashback. Dib: Gah! Dib throws the note to the floor. ZIM walks over to him. ZIM: Hurts doesn't it? Dib: Alright ZIM, what does your Irken hand writing say? ZIM: It says "Meet me in the back of the SKOOL after SKOOL." Do so, don't ask questions. After SKOOL, Dib goes to the back of the SKOOL to find ZIM looking evil. ZIM: So Dib, we meet again. Dib: You told me to come, remember? ZIM: Ah yes, I remember. Dib, I have come up with a reason of you being a threat to my mission. You have destroyed my home planet! Dib: I did not destroy your home planet! ZIM: Lies! Now, prepare your bladder for iminent release! Dib: ZIM, that's not a real reason! Dib gasps. Hey, wait a minute! You never really wanted to be friends with me! You just did it to destroy me! ZIM: Wow, despite your large head, your quite slow. Dib: My head's not big! And your not gonna destroy me! ZIM: Oh but I am. Don't you remember our little deal? If I feel as if you are a threat to the mission, I can destroy you and you will not try to stop me. ZIM laughs evilly. Dib: This isn't fair ZIM! ZIM: Life isn't fair Earth stink! Now, prepare to meet your horrible doom! When ZIM shoots the laser at Dib, Dib holds up a mirror which relfects the laser beam causing it to bounce back to ZIM. ZIM screams. The laser hits him, but only burns him the way ZIM's house laser burned Dib. ZIM: Ow. Dib: See ya ZIM. The end Hey, no problemo - I used to make much more mistakes than you did when I was new here. Heck, I forgot to sign my posts half the time! Well, two-thirds the time. Ah, what the heck, I rarely EVER signed my messages. But trust me, I was NOT as open to creative criticism as you seem to be. ;-) Self-deprecation aside, though, I'm always happy to welcome you to the team. It's been especially barren around here, as most of our users have taken indefinite leave of absence. The only editors I've seen do anything around here lately are myself, User:Conker's Bad Fur Day, User:Zimfan:D and User:Dykeatron - So if you have any questions, or just wanna have a conversation, just leave a message on any of our talk pages. By the way, the last user I listed, Dykeatron, goes by Olivia. She's the only active bureaucrat here, so she's our de facto leader at the moment. I'm kinda her second-in-command. ;-) But anyway, you seem like a nice individual, so I hope you stay here and become one of our most frequent editors. Thanks! Later, User: Dr. Anonymous1 12:34, July 29, 2012 (UTC) Well, if you're really looking for criticism, GIR's line of "couch flavour" didn't sound quite right coming from him (he'd probably just say "Yecchh!"), and I think that GIR wouldn't be likely to state that he likes chocolate in such a straightforward fashion; he'd be more likely to just say "it's chocolatey!", or just look at the cupcake, then Zim, and go back to licking it up). The last bit I thought could be improved was the part about the whole "destroying the planet" excuse vs. Dib's mentioning of the note being in alien, perhaps Dib could point that out, say something like: "Wait.. I already told everyone that your note was in alien. Why'd you go and make up an excuse?" ... and Zim would probably would just change the subject, or just say "SILENCE!" outright. That bit's OK as it is, but I think it would be more in line with the two characters' natures. But aside from those three things and a few minor grammatical errors (the short form of "you are" is "you're", not "your"), the overall story and dialogue is very good and very faithful to the original series. So... yeah, that's all the criticism that I have. But on the whole, it's one of the best fanfics I've read in a while. Well, ever, really; I only found 4 minor issues in this; with ordinary fanfics, I find, like, 42 major ones. As it is, I'd give it an 8.5 out of 10 (not compared with other fanfics; I actually judged it like it was an actual episode). Keep on keepin' on. User: Dr. Anonymous1 23:51, July 30, 2012 (UTC) Well, I'll be honest with you, I'm not a huge of Zim fan pairings, generally... Also, "Voting of Doom"... Hasn't that already been written? But I've already commented on the "Invader Dib" post, as you'll see. Truth be told, I personally don't think that it should have been written, mainly 'cos it would likely have ended badly for either Zim or Dib, and... Well, they're both my favourite characters, so I guess you can see why I wouldn't want one to kill off the other, or condemn them to a horrible fate. :-( But as far as fanscripts go for this, yours is pretty good. Just make sure that all four of the main characters somehow make it out OK, (but not have an unZimlike ending), and you'll have my approval. :-) I have my own idea for how the story ends, but you don't have to hear it if you don't want to. :-/ But other than the ending, I also wanted to point out something regarding the ship: Dib had already recovered and rebuilt Tak's ship by the end of Tak: The Hideous New Girl, so he wouldn't have needed to build another one from scratch. Also, in The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever, Gaz finished repairing the ship's flight systems, so Dib wouldn't be marvelling about how he was actually flying it; it'd be old news by this point. Also, I don't think that Ms. Bitters' lectures would EVER be that informative. Last thing: it needs to be just a bit funnier. But then, I guess you're still working on the basic sequence of events, so I guess you'll be adding the humour once you're done with that. But still, make sure the final product's reasonably funny, 'K? Trust me, it's not easy to write something this big. Best of luck; anythig you need advice or ideas for, hey, I'm always here. Thanks, and good luck, User: Dr. Anonymous1 01:11, July 31, 2012 (UTC) Well, I'm a casual fanficker myself, and from my limited experience, the hardest part of writing your own story is trying to make every aspect of the dialogue and plot consistent with the official episodes without seeming contrived and forced. I learned that the hard way. :-/ I'm generally not a fan of fan pairings, because they usually make absolutely no sense in the context of the canon. For example, Zim and Dib absolutely hate each other, so it is unlikely that there are any positive feelings between them other than grudging respect and a love to hate each other. Plus, romance was never a part of Invader Zim... In fact, it's in strong opposition to the cynicism and delightful evil that makes up the show's core. Well, the way I thought it, the Resisty would mostly succeed in their goal to destroy the Irken Empire, but they would ultimately not vapourise Irk itself... just leave it a bit singed. During the battle, Zim and Dib would be duking it out in space; Zim would ultimately be "defeated" and his Voot Cruiser would be sent spiraling out of control. Dib would fly back to Earth, and.. I dunno what happens: maybe life just continues as normal. I mean, he has Tsk's ship in his possession, and there IS Zim's abandoned base, so he might be finally able to convince the other humans of his theories. Or, conversely, he could just accept that they will never be convinced, but console himself that at least he'll always know the truth. I dunno; as long as he doesn't end up in a mental institution or something like that, I'm open to suggestions. As a little epilogue, Zim regains control of his crippled ship, and he decides to return back to Irk... Until GIR laments that he left his cupcakes back in the base on Earth. Zim, realising that he forgot to pack up the base, quickly turns the Voot around and flies back to Earth. That's the basic idea I have. User: Dr. Anonymous1 15:49, July 31, 2012 (UTC) Well, do what you you feel is necessary; sometimes you just have to delete the first draft and start again. But keep on workin', and you'll soon have it just the way you like it. Keep it up! User: Dr. Anonymous1 16:52, July 31, 2012 (UTC) Trust me, you're still a better writer than I am. ;-) User: Dr. Anonymous1 22:35, July 31, 2012 (UTC) Hey, I apologise for not responding sooner, but my family's on a week-long voyage to Georgia and God-knows-where-else, so I haven't been gettin' much Wi-Fi. However, I DID manage to read your latest fanfic. I didn't know Irkens were ticklish. It's good, but it wouldn't be long enough to make into a full-blown episode. However, it'd make a very good short. :-) User: Dr. Anonymous1 Re:Unfinished Episodes Hey, we all make mistakes like that... especially me. But, y'know, you could look up an episode here to see if it was finished. Y'know, cos IZWiki is primarily an information centre. ;-) But it's interesting that you wanna do scripts for the unfinished episodes, 'cos I was about to ask you if you'd wanna do that. For the ones WITHOUT scripts, of course. Any chance you could post your own script for the episode Top of the Line?:-) Oh, and if there are any other scriptless episodes that you'd like to "finish", you can find a complete list of 'em here: http://zim.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Episode_Ideas Thanks, User: Dr. Anonymous1 13:35, August 21, 2012 (UTC) Ahh, it's not THAT big a thing; I'm not exactly Jhonen Vasquez. Errr... What's the "extremely flattered" emoticon, again? ;-) But really, I do have high hopes regarding your stories. Best of luck! Dr. Anonymous1 (talk) 22:56, August 22, 2012 (UTC) Well, good thing I'm not assigning a deadline, eh? Incidentally, what do you have so far? Dr. Anonymous1 (talk) 16:54, September 3, 2012 (UTC) Checkin' up... Hey, how's Top of the Line comin' along? Dr. Anonymous1 (talk) 00:44, September 18, 2012 (UTC)